I like to take my fat thighs with me wherever I go. I dress them up in clothes, take them for bike rides, and generally try to make life pleasant for them.
Some drunk moms accosted us during trick or treating. I found out where they live so I can definitely join them next year.
"Exaptation…is like that old t-shirt in your closet that you repurpose into a dress and suddenly all the boys are asking for your number."
Damn, I love my students this semester!
Well tumblr, since my audience here is pretty limited I might as well talk to you about what I don’t like to talk about with real humans. I have angiolymphoid hyperplasia with eosinophilia. It is basically these lesions on and around my ear that erupt out of nowhere and never go away and only get worse. There is no permanent treatment and only very painful temporary treatments. It’s not the end of the world - it’s not life threatening and usually benign - but it has meant tons of outpatient surgeries and slight hearing loss. I should mention that this loss is on top of the loss incurred by spending my teenage years right next to the big speakers because it is totally super metal.
I hate to talk about it because I really only like to admit to my faults that other people often share (like being a bad mom, a terrible friend, etc). Pretty much the end of the world would be if someone besides my immediate family pitied me. On the other hand I absolutely love pity from my immediate family because it means presents and getting out of petty chores.
So, after a couple of pretty hairy surgeries this past year (one involving intubation, yeash!), I am having some really creepy scar issues - massive swelling, etc. and am finally sufficiently freaked out to want to talk about it. Sort of. Online. And to mostly strangers who wont read a non-picture post. Anyway I hope I don’t die (I totally wont die, I will probably be back to normal when I wake up) and I hope I am not a deformed embarassment to my children and I really really really hope that I can try a new fucking hairstyle soon that doesn’t have to cover my lesions.Thanks guys, you are right!
Evolution students: If you want to argue against evolution with me, please don’t use examples pulled straight from Creationism 001. I promise that I will annihilate you and then I will feel bad about it.
I have heard them all before, I don’t live in some special bubble where no news from the outside world ever penetrates. And yes, I do actually study for a living how a “partial eye” and a “partial brain” are useful and improve fitness, so keep it in your pocket until we get to week 10.
We’ve frittered away the whole morning coming up with the most godawful spoonerisms ever.
What’s the difference between an eager cab driver and a convicted murderer?
One chases the fare, and the other faces the chair.
What’s the difference between a depressed weight lifter and Adam after he ate the apple?
One’s a beefy loner and the other has a leafy boner.
What’s the difference between someone cooking chili for the first time and a shopping tourist?
One tries bean kits and the other buys trinkets?